Raggedstar's Regret
by callousfinch
Summary: Redid an old story of mine. It's not great. Synopsis: He was a good leader but a bad Father. Rated T for Violence and sadness. (I don't want anyone thinking I'm dark and/or depressed IRL, because I'm not! I can write happy things too! I swear!)


Raggedstar might be the fearsome leader of ShadowClan; but that doesn't mean he can't enjoy the occasional stroll around his territory!

Although he was down right cruel on the outset, a select few of Raggedstar's closest friends knew him to be capable of emotions such as kindness and love. It was a rare thing to see Raggedstar displaying such emotions. He liked to maintain the persona of "tough and fearless leader" in front of other cats, so as to generate respect, within and outside his Clan.

Which was why he hadn't told any cat that he was going to go sit in the shade and watch the sun set. Just not a very stoic thing to do.

Didn't take him long to find a good spot from which to admire the sun set. There was a nice pine tree just up the hill. Raggedstar plopped himself down amongst the briars and thistles.

He filled his nose with the sweet and bitter smells of the pine forest. He rested his muzzle on his paws and looked out at the sun. It was beautiful!

Beautiful? What a strange word to go through his mind!

The chirping of birds and the gentle rasping of the river lulled him into a calm state. This was nice. This was really nice. It was just, peaceful.

All day every day he put on that bold and stoic aptitude. He realized for the first time just how unhappy that made him. Raggedstar began to think, deep down, he was a gentle cat...

A twig snapped behind him. Raggedstar's fur stood on end. He snapped his head around as a flying furball collided into him, knocking him back. Hissing as a familiar scent washed over him, Raggedstar sank his claws into his attacker's fur and attempted to rip him off. No use, this cat was strong. But who was he? The name was on the tip of Raggedstar's tongue.

Raggedstar wrestled his opponent using every tactic he knew, but he couldn't get free.

"You fool," a foul voice rasped.

Raggedstar froze. "B...Brokentail?" he gasped. No, surely it couldn't be him!

"Yes. It is I," Brokentail hissed in Raggedstar's ear. "Your son."

Anger swept through Raggedstar: "Brokentail, I am your father and your _leader_!"

Brokentail chuckled- a cold, mocking sound. "Oh you ignorant old cat," he rasped, "couldn't you see this was coming? All those years of abuse? You tormented me all my life."

His voice shook slightly with emotion, but he quickly recovered.

"What's more-" he continued "-you've become soft and weak. ShadowClan deserves better than you."

"You would kill your father?!"

"You're no father to me."

Raggedstar began to scream for help. In response, Brokentail clamped his jaws around his neck. Pain- horrible pain- tore into him. Raggedstar mustered the last bit of strength he had left and rolled- pulling Brokentail with him. Spinning, Raggedstar lashed his claws down Brokentail's muzzle. Brokentail snarled and jumped at him once more, screaming, "Die!" Raggedstar jumped to get out of the way but was too slow- Brokentail collided with him... pushing him down the cliff.

Raggedstar tumbled and bounced down the rocky slope. The descent lasted several seconds. He came to a stop at the bottom. He was barely alive.

There was a flower in front of Raggedstar. With pretty pink petals. Raggedstar inhaled the sweet fragrance, for, what he believed would be the last time.

Then he closed his eyes.

* * *

Raggedstar dreamt.

He opened his eyes and looked around. He was back in Camp. He saw some familiar faces- Nighttail- sharing tongues with... was that... Spottedpelt?. But Spottedpelt was dead! Had been for moons.

Then he realized he wasn't in the present; he was in the past!

A she-cat's anguished cries pierced the air. It was coming from the medicine cat's den. Raggedstar found himself lopping toward the den. Peering inside he saw Yellowfang. His mate. She was in contractions. A queen, Bushytail, was hovering beside her.

"You're doing fine Yellowfang," Bushytail soothed. "Just keep it coming, you're almost there." He shot Raggedstar a glance. A scornful glance.

Yellowfang looked Raggedstar in the eyes. Her bright eyes were filled with pain from the ordeal. Raggedstar felt something stir deep down- compassion. What an alien feeling it was to him!

He crouched beside Yellowfang, pressed his muzzle comfortingly into hers. He could feel the surprise radiating off her.

She contracted once more and then a new sound came: the wails of a newborn kit.

"Well done Yellowfang!" Bushytail applauded. Raggedstar turned his head. A tiny, black-furred creature lay in the moss, its teeny jaws parted in desperation for milk.

Raggedstar couldn't believe his eyes. This was his kit. This was...

Brokentail?

Tiny Brokentail began crawling toward Yellowfang. Yellowfang rolled onto her side. Brokentail latched on and began to suckle.

Raggedstar found himself unable to connect this helpless newborn- his son- to the cat that had killed him. It seemed impossible. How could one so young, so innocent, turn into such a damaged, broken cat?

 _"You tormented me all my life!"_

The words rang loud and clear in Raggedstar's head. It was true: Raggedstar had been an awful Clanmate, and an even worse father. Bullying his son, putting him down, even nipping and cuffing him when he disobeyed.

Had he turned his own son into a monster?

What have I done? He thought. What have I done?

His vision began to fade, and he realized he was leaving his dream. He looked at his son, Brokentail, and was filled with regret. _My son, I'm sorry._

* * *

 **WOw that was pretty dark eh?**

 **BUt did Raggedstar die? ;o**


End file.
